Proofs About Jesus

OK - this one is totally for fun. My cousin sent this to me after out "Was Jesus a Black man?" email exchange. I thought it was hysterical:

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN
His first name was Jesus.
He was bilingual.
He was always being harassed by the authorities.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK
He called everybody "brother."
He liked Gospel.
He couldn't get a fair trial.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH
He went into his father's business.
He lived at home until he was 33.
He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure he was God.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN
He talked with his hands.
He had wine with every meal.
He worked in the building trades.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
He never cut his hair.
He walked around barefoot.
He started a new religion.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH
He never got married.
He was always telling stories.
He loved green pastures.

And now the MOST compelling proofs:

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN

He managed to feed a crowd, at a moments notice, when there was no food.

He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.

Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.