Gov. Blagojevich with BFF, Obama looking all warm and friendly (cough, cough).
In what is being called one of the most daring escape attempts in the history of law enforcement, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich today offered the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama to the FBI agent who took him into Federal custody this morning.
According to U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, the astonishing escape attempt occurred moments after Mr. Blagojevich was handcuffed by the agent, who was wearing a wire and captured the entire expletive-laden offer on tape.
"'You can be the [bleeping] junior Senator from [bleeping] Illinois if you let me out of these [bleeping] handcuffs,'" Mr. Fitzgerald read from a transcript. "'And if that mother-[bleeper] Barack Obama tries to [bleep] with me, I'll [bleep] him up.'"
According to Mr. Fitzgerald, "When I say ‘bleep,' he didn't really say ‘bleep' on the tape," adding, "I'm going to keep making that joke until one of you [bleepers] laughs at it."
Gov. Blagojevich has been charged with a laundry list of Federal crimes, including stealing his haircut from the dad on "The Brady Bunch."
Hey, this is just as likely a scenario as any other I can think of with this guy, this bunch of people.
And while I am doing some satire - the jokes practically write themselves on this whole thing - Chicago politicians and all - there is this "American Voices" from The Onion: Illinois Governor Arrested
Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested Tuesday on corruption charges stemming from an alleged conspiracy to sell or trade the Senate seat left vacant by Barack Obama. What do you think?
"I was moved by the governor's heartfelt plea that he be given his f**king money back."
"I should have never had those 'Spitzer-Blagojevich 2012' lawn signs printed up back in February."
"How much are Senate seats going for these days? I only paid $75,000 for mine back in ’98."
Well, even counting for inflation, I'd say John Edwards got quite a deal on his Senate seat!
Hey, you gotta admit - as serious as all of this is - and it most definitely is, it is definitely ripe for some major "jokeificating"...Sometimes, you just has to laugh at the absurdity of it all...