Alvin Greene, SC's Thinker "Outside The Box"

You may recall that there was quite the upset in SC during the recent primaries in which an unemployed man who did no campaigning, had no real policy platform, had no campaign website, and had no campaign funds, beat out his competitor, an elected official. By a lot, I might add. Greene won with 60% of the vote. Oh, yes.

My representative, Jim Clyburn, pitched a hissy fit, insisting that the Republicans were behind Mr. Greene's candidacy and filing fee. He claimed voter fraud was responsible for the vote through faulty voting machines. The SC State Democrats tried to throw out the election results (who cares about those pesky votes anyway? We already know the Dems don't after 2008.). They failed in their attempts, and now it seems Mr. Greene's funds came from the US Government and the State of South Carolina:

[snip] State law enforcement officials wrapped up an investigation of Greene’s finances after questions were raised about how he could qualify for indigent defense and afford to pay more than $10,000 to seek the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate.

Greene’s surprise June 8 upset victory over former circuit judge Vic Rawl initially caused many to speculate Republican operatives had secretly bankrolled Greene’s primary entry fee to sabotage the primary. Rawl’s defeat left Greene the Democratic challenger to U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint, R-S.C.

The source of Greene’s money is none other than the U.S. government and the S.C. state government, said SLED director Reggie Lloyd.

“That’s who bankrolled Greene’s entry fee for the primary,” said Lloyd, whose agency worked with 5th Circuit Solicitor Barney Giese in the investigation. “The U.S. government and the state of South Carolina funded his filing fee.” [snip]

Yes, all of the funds have been accounted for after a thorough investigation:

[snip] Last October, Greene received a $5,843 check from the U.S. Department of Defense in connection with his discharge from the military last year.

“That brought him up to more than $8,200,” Lloyd said.

Greene continued having a checking account balance of about that amount into March, when Greene received a federal income tax refund of $2,173 and a state tax refund of $932, Lloyd said.

“At that point, he had more than $11,400 in his account,” Lloyd said.

Greene was also getting a $1,100 monthly unemployment check, Lloyd said. Since Greene lived with his father and had few expenses other than “haircuts and groceries,” his unemployment check was another source of government income for the discharged veteran, Lloyd said.[snip]

In other words, you and I bankrolled Alvin Green's filing fee. Hooray for us! Ahem.

I am so sure that a sincere apology to the State Republicans is forthcoming from Rep. Clyburn immediately. Ahahahahahaha. Just kidding.

Now that the funding from Greene's filing fee has been identified, with no malfeasance on his part, I can now turn to one of his brilliant ideas for job creation. Since Obama has been so busy suing one of the 50 states instead of, oh, working to create jobs, for instance, perhaps Obama could use this idea from Alvin Greene.

And that idea for job creation is - are you sitting down? Crafting action figures of Greene. I am not kidding you. Seriously. He said this. Out loud:

[snip] "Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays," Greene said in the article. "Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an Army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit."

"That's something that would create jobs," Greene continued. "So you see I think out of the box like that. It's not something a typical person would bring up." [snip]

Well, I have to give Greene that - this is NOT something a "typical" person would consider. Creating jobs by having action figures made of themselves. Yikes. Though I have to say, I am pretty surprised that Obama has not considered this as a "Works Project." I mean, the man has already written two autobiographies, so clearly, he thinks pretty highly of himself (my recently departed mother said she couldn't get through his first one - she thought it was incredibly boring. That from a woman who was a voracious reader and who always finished any book she was reading. Except Obama's. Telling, that.) Having an "action figure" seems right up Obama's alley. Just saying. I can't believe Alvin Greene beat him to it.

That, friends, is the kind of "thinkificating" of the newest Democratic candidate for US Senate from the Palmetto State. Never mind that no one would BUY the damn things, so how the workers making them would be paid is still a mystery. But Mr. Greene has not exactly come off as a Mensa candidate in his interviews anyway (or on his new website). No matter how hard the State Democrats worked, no matter how many (false) allegations they levied, and no matter how much they tried to overturn the will of the people, even if they had no idea for whom they were voting (his name was listed first), Alvin Greene IS the Democratic candidate for US Senator from SC.

You just can't make this stuff up.