Thursday, April 1, 2010

Careful, Guam Might Tip Over!

In all honestly, I had another post all ready to go for today. But then I saw this piece, and given it is April Fool's Day, there was no way I couldn't do this instead. And while you might THINK this is an Onion piece, I assure you, it is not. It is from The Hill. I am not kidding about this.

Okay - here goes: Rep. Hank Johnson: Guam could 'tip over and capsize'. No, really - this is true. I KNOW it sounds like an April Fool's Day prank, but it is FOR REAL:
Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) is afraid that the U.S. Territory of Guam is going to "tip over and capsize" due to overpopulation.

Johnson expressed his worries during a House Armed Services Committee hearing on the defense budget Thursday.

Addressing Adm. Robert Willard, who commands the Navy's Pacific Fleet, Johnson made a tippy motion with his hands and said sternly, "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize."

Willard paused and said: "We don't anticipate that."

I'm sorry, I am laughing so hard I can't type anything right now...Holy shit. This is an elected official??? Are you freaking KIDDING me??

Just in case you are worried that Guam, or Hawaii (the entire chain), or Manhattan, or any other island, for that matter, might just go tipping over while you are out strolling around, fear not:
Like other islands, Guam is attached to the sea floor, which makes it extremely unlikely that it will tip over, even if there are lots and lots of people on it. Guam is 30 miles long and up to 9 miles wide in certain spots, with a population of 175,000 civilians. The military is proposing the addition of 8,000 U.S. servicemembers and their families.

Reached for comment, a spokesman for Johnson said the lawmaker had visited Guam, and his concern was that the influx of military personnel would overwhelm the island's infrastructure and ecosystem.

Um, I'm not sure that makes his "tipping over" comment any better!!

You have to see this for your self - it's a little over a minute in:

How in the WORLD did Admiral Willard answer him so seriously?? How did he not stop and say, "Are you making a joke, sir?" Or, "Am I being Punk'd?? Where's that Ashton Kutcher?" Or, "You know it isn't April Fool's YET, right, Representative Johnson?"

Holy cow. No wonder our country is in the current shape it is if Rep. Johnson is indicative of who is running this show. Guam might capsize. Wow. I gotta say - that's one I've never heard before! Thanks for the belly laugh, Rep. Johnson. That one was a DOOZY!!!

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE: My heart goes out to our fellow citizens in the Northeast, especially Rhode Island, while they deal with record breaking rains, and devastating floods. Many of the areas hardest hit by the floods are also experiencing hard hits with unemployment. Unbelievable what is happening there...

May you all be safe, may your losses be few, may jobs increase soon, and may your lives return to normal as quickly as possible.


Anonymous said...

OMG, Rev, even though you said a dozen times this was NOT an April Fool's joke, I kept looking for the "Surprise! It really is a joke!"

How it is that the Admiral didn't burst out laughing, for that matter everyone sitting there, I will never know. How did that idiot get elected? It's just unbelievable. Guam is going to tip over and capsize?'s gonna be hell on all the rowers in the galley below the island to keep that island upright and stable with 25,000 new people. Whew. Now that's a tough job, being a Guam galley rower. Although, could be potential to create new jobs. I hear there will be lots former student loan advisers will be looking for work.

My heart goes out to all those dealing with the horrible rains and floods and job losses. Thank goodness they'll have health insurance in 4 more years. Yep. The Pretender to the rescue.

Every time I think it can't get any does!

I've got Montserrat on my mind!

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

SF, I know - I cannot believe the Admiral just answered him like the idea that an island can capsize is a perfectly plausible scenario. Give that man another medal, I say!

I can't believe anyone would vote for this man, SF. Wow.

Guam galley rowers - now THAT is a job of which I had not thought. Hmmm - it would be a job to have, though. One wouldn't need to go to the gym or anything after that, right? Ahem.

I'm sorry, SF - I am afraid that if we end up moving to Montserrat, it might just be the - dare I say it - TIPPING point?!?!?! :-D

It is terrible what is happening in RI and other states. Poor RI has been hit SO hard, with both this and the high unemployment. Just heartbreaking...

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO....Montserrat tipping over... guess I better start on that diet now, eh? Gotta go clean my keyboard and monitor now.

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Teehee!! I didn't even consider the possibility!

You know, I live on an island NOW. What is the tipping point here? One more tourist rolling through to the beach? Another RV on the way to the State Park?? Sheesh - things to keep me up at night...

I understand that Rep. Johnson has Hepatitis C and is on new meds. I am sorry to hear that, and hope his new meds help him. But, still, if he cannot fulfill the duties of his office, perhaps it is time to take a medical leave (though I don't blame the meds for him thinking an island could capsize...).

How is it that the other people didn't snicker or ANYTHING?? I think I wold have been like, "Say WHAAAAA?"