Sunday, January 31, 2010

Dear Friends

I am afraid I will be away from my blog for a little while. My beloved mother passed away Saturday morning, Jan. 30th. Sadly, we were not able to be there with her. We were headed up to see her, but weather forced us to postpone our departure. Still, we would not have made it in time ... Fortunately, though, my middle brother and his wife, who have been incredibly faithful to my mother since her stroke back in May, were with her when she passed.

Mom was 79 1/2 years old, had survived a liver transplant over 20 years ago, plus the five children she bore. That was no small feat I tell you - we could be quite the handful. She was gracious, generous, thoughtful, loving, kind, and funny. She was a mother to many, not just her blood children. My friends came to see Mom as much as they came to see me - she was that kind of person. She loved to read, she loved her animals, she loved to watch the birds come to the birdfeeders, and she loved to garden, though later in life, she had to leave the actual digging and all to those younger than she. I don't think Mom ever knew a stranger, even the checkout people in the grocery store knew her. She genuinely cared about everyone, and opened her heart to them.

To say I will miss my mother is a tremendous understatement. All who knew her will miss her, her infections laugh, and her spirit. But not only am I sad that I have lost my mother, but I am sad for the dreams she had that will forever go unfulfilled. Whether through illness (hers or my dad's, who predeceased her by four and a half years), age, or time, there were so many things she never got to do. I suppose she can travel all she wishes now, or paint as much as she desires...

I will be back soon, friends. Until then, I suggest you tell those you love that you love them, and those with whom you want to spend time, make the time to do so. Life is fleeting, but love, love lasts...

Mom, I will love you always. Thank you for all you have done for me, all you have taught me, all you have given me, for the very life beating within. I will miss you more than I can say...

27 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

Oh dear...I am so sorry for your loss! I will remember her in my prayers and of course, I will pray for you and your siblings during this difficult time. God Bless you, Reverend Amy, I have no doubt that you brought great joy and love to your mother, and she'll be with you always.

Again, my sincerest sympathies.

SFIndie said...

Rev, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all who loved your mom.

When my mom passed away last year, a friend wrote me this: “Your mother is definitely in a painless place, with her eyes and ears open to hear the music of the universe.” Now your mom, too, is hearing the music of the universe, and watching over all her loved ones.

Your mom was an amazing woman. The world is a better place for her presence, and the gifts of love and laughter she left behind will live on.

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Thank you so much, Mary Ellen and SFIndie. I truly appreciate your kindness and warmth during such a difficult time. It means so much to me, especially while dealing with the family drama that seems to always flow from these kinds of family events...

And yes, she was an amazing woman. Thank you for your support, SF and ME - it means the world to me...

Connie said...

What a beautiful tribute!

Mary Ellen said...

Rev.Amy- Oh yes, the drama. It's so sad that this seems to often happen with the loss of a parent, as if that pain isn't enough to deal with. Take heart...if there is no Italian blood in your heritage, at least you won't have the drama end in some bizarre curse hoisted upon you by an over-zealous aunt from the old country who claims the ability to ruin your life for generations to come. ;-)

Amarissa said...

Truly, truly sorry for your loss.

mcnorman said...

Heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Only time will heal a heart filled with sadness.

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Thank you, Connie - I appreciate that.

Mary Ellen, despite my warning to Suzy that I was abt to read something from you, she took a bite of ice cream anyway, and almost spewed it on the hotel room wall because she was laughing so hard. Thanks for that! Trust me when I tell you that we NEEDED that laugh. Oh, my...

Amarissa and McNorman, I truly appreciate your kind words. Thank you so much...

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

If you will permit me this indulgence, I would like to share the following from my former sister in law, who is one of my oldest friends. She sent this to my brother (her ex) and me earlier today: "Your mom was such a hard worker. I remember her struggling with those huge baskets of laundry, hanging them on the line and then rushing to bring them in when it rained. She was always working, cooking, cleaning, taking care of animals...and yet she found time to read, be active in the church, and welcome others to her home. Later, I never once left her home empty-handed as she always pressed something on to me as I was leaving... a book, a recipe, an article she'd saved for me."

Abt going to church with which was largely African American in membership, "I thought the entire church thing was exotic and interesting. I had never been a "minority" before. I learned a lot about equality and love from that church and from Ooh." (That was my mom's nickname, bestowed by one of my jr. high school friends and I one Sun. morning when we were goofing around. It stuck.)

"Your mom always forgave my bad decisions and difficult choices. She always chose to love. Even after Mark and I were divorced, I could always count on her to be there for me by mail, phone, or in person, despite all the conflict this caused within and without.

The world is "less than" now that she's gone. I know she leaves a legacy of love behind, though."

Amen to that...

SFIndie said...

What a beautiful letter from your former SIL, Rev. It says alot about your mom that she continued to make your SIL feel loved and a part of her life even after the divorce. I feel like we're all getting to know your mom today, and feel the loss of her as well!

Oh, and be thankful you aren't Jewish. There wouldn't be the curse by the Italian aunt from the old country, but the amount of guilt heaped on you in the name of the grandparents who came to America from the old country, who suffered so much to struggle to make a life here, oy vey, you'll just never know what they suffered for you, but that's okay, as long as you're happy and you get to have your way, that's all that matters, it doesn't matter about anyone else.......

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

ROTFLMAO - okay, maybe our family is Jewish! I can just see that scenario (Mary Ellen's, too) playing out so well..."Oy, vey..." :-)

And thank you. I appreciate that. Oh, Mom adored my SIL, and was so sad when she and my brother divorced, though Mom understood why. But she had a relationship independent of my brother, and they were able to maintain a correspondence, and visits when my SIL was in town.

I can tell you, my mom and I look almost identical to each other. We were looking through photos tonight and there were some where it was hard for me to tell if it was Mom or me. And I look just like her mother.. Mom was 28 yrs younger than her mother, and I am 28 yrs younger than Mom. Anyway, it is a legacy I carry proudly...

Thank you all for your kindness toward me during this difficult time. Our culture is not good with grieving any more, or allowing people to be in mourning. We are all supposed to "just get over it already." No more do we wear black, or tear a piece of our clothing so people know we are hurting, and to be gentle. So thank you for being gentle with me now.

Thanks for the laughs, too - really helps after the "family meeting." And how!

bluelyon said...

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. Take all the time you need.

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Thank you, bluelyon. I appreciate that. And I hope you are well!

Becky said...

oh RRR Amy, I am sorry your dear Mother has passed. The love you shared speaks through your writing. May peace be with you all ways.
Namste`

Deborah said...

Sorry for your loss. I read faithfully and rarely post. Take care of yourself. My sincerest sympathies.

Alessandro Machi said...

I made a special listing for this article at the top of the main section of dailypuma to make sure everybody sees what you wrote. It wont be up forever, but for a while at least.

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Deborah and Becky, thank you so much. I truly appreciate your kind sentiments. And I appreciate your support!

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Alessandro, that was so kind of you. Thank you.

To you all, your support and sympathy mean so very much to me duringthis difficult time. Thank you...

nazareth priest said...

My deepest condolences and promise of prayers. May you know the peace which surpasses all understanding.

uppitywoman08 said...

Sister Amy,
I just heard of the death of your mother. Having lost both of my parents, I can only say I understand your pain. If ever you need a shoulder, I am here.

Uppity Woman

SFIndie said...

Hi Rev, just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. All of your readers and fans and friends are thinking of you and we're all holding you close in our hearts!

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Nazareth Priest, thank you - I appreciate your kindness...

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Uppity, thanks so much. I appreciate that. I lost my dad 4 1/2 yrs ago. Losing Mom is difficult, to say the least, and on another level, know what I mean?

Thanks for the offer, too - that means a lot to me...

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Hey, SF - thanks, friend! I am hoping to put up a post on Fri., though I am not sure I am ready to delve back into the world of politics quite yet. I have been paying attention (really, they're going after Palin for writing three things on her hand when Obama can't walk and chew gum without TOTUS? Please - aren't there more important matters with which they can concern themselves?? Sheesh.), but it may be a few more days yet...

Anyway, thank you so much for thinking of me, SF - I really appreciate that!

Nellie said...

Rev Amy,

My sincerest condolences on the loss of your mother. Your tribute and those of the others here, brought tears to my eyes. As an old yankee from NH, I am not very adept with words in times of sorrow.

This description in your tribute to your mother:

"gracious, generous, thoughtful, loving, kind, and funny"

fully describes how so many of us feel about you. As the old aunts used to say; Like mother, Like Daughter

May the peach of nature at your beautiful farm help heal the hole in your heart and soul.

Sandy said...

So sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. It is not an easy thing to go through. It sounds as though she lived life to the fullest, take comfort in that. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy said...

Nellie, thank you so very much for your kind words, both in terms of support for me at this time, and for the tremendous compliment you paid me. It means more than I can say...

You said it just fine, too. Thank you.

Sandy - thank you, too, for your words of support and encouragement. I appreciate it.