Evan Bayh Admits All-Consuming Farmville Addiction; Senator Enters Rehab
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — Just hours after rocking the political world with his surprise retirement announcement, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Ind) said that he would undergo treatment for an “all-consuming addiction” to the popular Facebook game Farmville.
“I realized that I had to make a choice between being a United States senator and tending my imaginary farm,” a tearful Mr. Bayh told reporters. “I had to look at myself in the mirror and acknowledge that I had a problem.”
Majority Leader Harry Reid said that he was shocked by Sen. Bayh’s admission, adding, “This is all the more surprising because he hails from a farm state, where there are plenty of actual farms he could take care of.”
In other news, an intelligence source downplayed the capture of the Taliban’s No 2, stating, “It sounds like a big deal until you remember that our No. 2 is Biden.”
Elsewhere, a New York Times reporter accused of plagiarism commented on the scandal, calling it “the best of times and the worst of times.”
Oh, too funny. And who couldn't use a laugh right about now, right? Oh, yeah.
And just so you know, I will be heading back to my hometown tomorrow for my mom's funeral on Thursday. I will be back home on Sunday. Hopefully, I'll be back writing soon after that - I miss it, to be honest, though it is hard to really concentrate on the inanity, or is that insanity, that is DC politics at this time. I trust you understand. And thanks again for all of the support...
6 comments:
ROFLMAO...that is TOO funny about Farmville! I have a friend who's addicted to it. I haven't tried it yet, I'm almost afraid to.
And LOL about the capture of the Taliban's #2. Borowitz is on a roll!
Wishing you gentle memories as you're surrounded by loved ones over the next few days. Laugh at any family drama if you can, your mom is probably laughing at it all from up on high where she is now!
Inanity, insanity...it's all the same these days. The kool-aid must have been really toxic.
Take care, we'll "see" you when you get back!
In other news, an intelligence source downplayed the capture of the Taliban’s No 2, stating, “It sounds like a big deal until you remember that our No. 2 is Biden.”
That made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants! :-D
Have a safe trip and remember that we're all back here thinking of you and praying for you. See you when you return. ;-)
SFIndie, I know - people have tried to get me involved in Farmville, and I have refused! They all seem to get addicted to it! :-)
I loved the line abt Bayh being from a state with actual farms he could work on...Too funny.
Glad you liked it.
And thanks so much. Fortunately, there are some funny people in my family, including my cousin who is coming from NY and staying in the same hotel suite with us. Mom had a great sense of humor herself, so yes, no doubt, she'll be having a few laughs, too!
Btw, I failed to mention that Mom was a HUGE Hillary fan and did not like Obama at ALL. One of the last things she said to me was, "I don't like Rush Limbaugh at all, but one thing I do agree with him on, and that is when he said Obama is in over his head." Amen.
Thanks for the good wishes, sweetie..
Mary Ellen, wasn't that so funny abt Biden? I still cannot believe he is our VP, as I said. Every time I see him on tv, I just shake my head in disbelief.
Btw, I read your very funny comment abt curses and families to an old friend who called from Cambridge. We were both laughing over that one.
Thank you - that means so much to me, ME! *See* you soon...
Oh Amy, sorry for your loss. I noticed you haven't been on NQ so I came here to look for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
JMM from NQ (the other Yankee fan there)
JM, thank you so much - I appreciate that you came looking for me, and for your kind remarks. That means a lot to me. So nice of you!
It's just abt Spring Training - yay! That will be a welcome distraction this year especially, that's for sure...
Thanks again, JMM - I appreciate it!
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